Surviving an In-Law Visit

 

It's that phrase you hate hear from you significant other "my parents are coming in for a visit".  Your first thought is to run, run as far away as you can.  Like most people spending a large amount of time with my usually gives me anxiety.  Along time ago a good friend of mine gave me some sage advice.  I am here to impart that advice onto you, so you can make your time with them as friction-free (if not outright pleasant) as possible, keep these things in mind if you feel your temper rising:

1.) Focus Conversations on Them

People love to talk about themselves.  This definitely applies to my mother in law. Instead of allowing them to drill you with questions about your work and personal habits that might leave you vulnerable to their criticism or uncomfortable, ask your in-laws questions about their family holiday traditions, how their dog is doing, how they like to prepare sweet potatoes, or whatever topic strikes you as appropriate. This will accomplish two things: first, it will cater to the pleasure that a majority of people take in talking about their lives. Second, it will remove you from their scrutiny. They get to share more about themselves with you, and you avoid receiving any unwanted advice on your personal life. It’s a win-win situation! I always try to ask my mother in law advice on cooking.  She loves to cook and can talk about it for hours. She is happy to impart her advice and I do not have to say a word.  It is a win win situation.  (I hope she does not read this).   K no telling your mother

2.) Don’t Live and Die for Their Approval

I tend to want to please people and I often get caught up in try to seek everyone's approval , but you can not please everyone. And trying only leads to disappointment and resentment.  Just be proud of yourself for trying to do the right thing.



3.) Don’t Let Karma Come Back to Haunt You

Fight the urge to complain about an in-law to your spouse, kids, or other family members, during the visit.   It is inevitable at some time during their visit they may make a comment or give you a look that frustrates or hurts.  I suggest let some time pass before you bring the situation up to your significant other.  When you do, try to tell them how you feel about the situation.  Explain how it hurt you. This may help you and your significant other to create tactics to try to stop it from happening again.

4.) Go AWOL for Awhile

I saved this piece of advise for last because I feel it is the important and the tactic I use the most.
Take a brief walk around the neighborhood. You’ll clear your head, get some air and gain some precious alone time. When you return you’ll feel calm, refreshed, and ready for Round 2.
If they’re the ones visiting your home, plan an activity to commit to ahead of time, like going to the supermarket (to pick up ingredients to make them their favorite dish).

I hope this information was useful.  I would love to hear from you on how you deal with an in law visit.

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